As humans, we are flawed. Sometimes we act out and hurt the people closest to us. We cannot stop that from happening, but we can try to be aware that we have hurt someone who loves us. And like meditation, not berating yourself, but bringing awareness and attention to what you have done. And try to right the wrong.
But not everyone will be in the right headspace to accept your apology. Or your intention to make amends. Some people need time.
I had a squabble with my mother this afternoon, and realising that I’ve hurt her, I tried to make amends. But when she ignores my messages, and calls, and effort to make amends, it made me feel unloved, unwanted. Even though I know that she loves me a lot.
My point in illustrating this, is not to draw pity to myself. But to note down this realisation that I had.
That although we sometimes cannot help but hurt someone, but when you really do try to make amends and seek forgiveness, it hurts when you get ignored. It hurts because what I feel is abandonment.
I know that as time passes, things will go back to normal, but I hope this will be a lesson for me, to be quick to forgive if the apology is sincere.